Saturday, July 28, 2012

The Date

So several people seem to be asking me this lately. When is the date? As in, when will I be having my gender confirming surgery?  F.Y.I. Please don’t ever ask someone bluntly “When is your sex change.”? It is incorrect and rude. Which I know from me sounds odd, but everyone has a line somewhere that must be drawn. When is your surgery or operation is a little better but I hope to answer that question.

In all honesty? Unsure, still need at least $4,000 (Thailand) or $18,000 (America). Been saving a while but life always seems to happen. Surely by 15. No. Fine whatever. 18…no 22? Yeah. Yeah! Yeah!!! No. 25 Absolutely! I am working two jobs. Will be easy. No. 28? How could I not? Still working two jobs, plus internet work! Wait second job come back! No. Shoot. Now what?

I will be lucky if it is before I am 30 at current rates. Best case would be February 2013, but that is assuming I get this grant next month, otherwise roughly summer 2013 at current rates. Or if I complete the time machine it would have been ten years ago. If only...

At 18 I had the money, the means, and the will. I had to try love though. Shayla, Jessica, Sachia. Damnit. This is where the timeline skewed into this awful unpredicted future. I made a choice. A choice that has had lasting repercussions to now and beyond. My 2015 won’t be filled with flying cars or hoverboards, but PTSD of a choice I made ten years ago. Hence the impossible imaginings of traveling back to that time and fixing what was broke. Granted the new timeline could be worse, but I don’t see how. I’ll save that for a future post.

Anyway. There is a side point to this. While the official surgery maybe away off still, keep in mind I have been on hormones since 22 (and for a month in 2003…03! Damnit). Which means at this point I am reaching diminishing returns. In other words, other than some longer hair and hopefully more head regrowth, plus some dress changes, you won’t see much difference. Especially if you have known me 10+ years. Hopefully can get my stress down and be more calm. With the delays in surgery, I have been and will be out as me beforehand.

A more concrete date will be posted upon scheduled surgery.

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