Monday, July 30, 2012

The Car Conundrum

Obviously I need a Car. Or do I?

After a series of unfortunate events, it has been a year since I have been without a car. Fortunately I was able to move closer to work just in time, so I can walk. Should have been easy right?

Well, the timing could not have been more wrong. They started construction on the road to work. Until a week ago there was not even a full sidewalk. They are widening it to four lanes and adding a sidewalk. Has been a nightmare ever since they started though.

Walking to work was awful. It was always muddy and dirty. I went through several pairs of shoes. Certainly didn't help the financial situation. Blisters and sores developed on my feet, and as soon as they start to heal after a day off they get worse again. Thought it would get better as it got warmer and I could wear flip flops.

To an extent it did, at least until April. My body heat is like a furnace. I quickly learned that unless it was under 50F°/10°C I would break into a sweat on the way to work. Now that it is well into the 100s it is unbearable. Just yesterday I found out that even with a good SPF 50+ UVA/UVB suncreen and Heliocare, I still got burn spots, even in places that were covered walking home today. Science says we were UV Index 10 on the scale, which may as well have been an Ozone hole far as I am concerned. I can't ever remember it being this bad. Then again, I spend more time in a cave than Batman.

Heliocare is not cheap. I hate to spend money on it but I have got to maintain my skin until after surgery at least. Try to look as young so I can feel as young as possible. I know I won't get to enjoy life until my 30s so trying to make them the best now. I find Heliocare works pretty well though, and as much as I have walked I have gotten a good tan without hardly a burn. Given the choice though I would rather stay inside and preserve myself. I hate the sun but as of now do not really have a choice if I want to work.

People have an exceptionally generous with rides. I am extremely grateful. If any of you are reading this I can't thank you enough.

I sure miss my Lancer. My favorite car. Unfortunately it got totaled. I was upside down in payments, and of course insurance was not enough to cover. They totaled it out and suddenly found myself owing several thousand. No car but still making $255 a month payments, and unable to get approved or refinanced on another. So began my car troubles. Gosh would I love to get another 2002 Mitsubishi Lancer again someday.

(my car at the beach, what a good day that was)

My credit was awesome back then. I got the car for $255 a month with no down payment. I could almost afford that now. Problem is, I would have to put my surgery off at least another year or two. With the way I feel now, I can't do that. Not for my own health. I have made it a year and I can make another. It will be hard but it will be impossible if I don't get my surgery going.

The good news is I recently applied for another loan. It was mostly for fun, but I was astonished at the results. Even though I filed bankruptcy in December of 2011, I got approved. Again no downpayment as above but a 14.99% rate. I have not look at cars but it does have me thinking. If only I could get a second job or a raise! Would make my life ten times easier. I could have both within a year.

Fortunately in some ways, the next year will be easier. They built an Uptown Grocery store right next to my work. This has been wonderful as I can get little things like Milk or Bread and sometimes even have a meal. They have a nice little buffet style deal for $6.00. I can have lunch there or buy a can of soup and eat it back at work. 

Not quite as nice as being able to go home and eat. I rented a car recently for a week. Mostly due to the high temperatures, and I could somewhat justify it on the weeks I work seven days in a row (once a month, every month). I did save a little eating at home. Bringing lunch to work has always been a struggle for me, I either don't bring enough and gorge on the vending machine, or bring too much and it goes bad or I forget about it. Also very hard to carry with my shoes and water to work.

As for a bike, I have tried that. All I have is my old butch mountain bike. Hard to ride and very uncomfortable. After trying it several times I have determined it easier to just walk. With the sidewalks though I am considering a road bike, the type with the skinny tires and such. That might work. Would at least shave ten minutes off my trip, thus freeing time for internet work/rest.

Lastly, I don't think anyone comprehends how hard it walking is for me. Walking is how my mom died. She had real bad schizophrenia and would have episodes where she would go walking, oblivious to her surroundings. She was struck by a car, knocked unconscious. The doctors declared her brain dead. My uncle explained everything to me. We decided to pull the plug. I was only 20. I was and still am devastated, and I think about my mom everyday I walk.

Even though I am in what is supposed to be the safe side of town, it really could not be further from the truth. Seems things happen at the park fairly often where the joggers go, which is across my work and on the same street I walk. Course people see me walking down the street, phone in hand and bag and I am sure I look like an easy target. What happens if someone tries to pick me up or worse and notices there is something different about me? The murder rate of transsexuals is 16 times higher than the national average.*

Ho hum, what to do. What to do.

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